Bananaman & the Power of Food

Comics have certainly given us characters with some strange abilities. Seriously, just take one look at The Doom Patrol for proof. Today we’re going to focus on powers based around food, because I was feeling some writer’s block (hence the long break between posts) and asked someone whose opinion I trust to help me come up with a topic. In what can only be considered a joke, she said “bananas”. But taking it as a challenge, I decided to give it a go. This is destined to be one of the weirdest posts I ever make. So, let’s take a look at some of the random food-related super powers.

 

Bananaman

Anyone that watched Danger Mouse on Nickelodeon back in the 80’s will remember the companion series of Bananaman. But few probably realize that it was based on a British comic book character of the same name. Whenever ordinary boy Eric Wimp eats a banana, he is transformed into ultra strong but equally dimwitted crime fighter, Bananaman.

 

Tony Chu

Easily one of the strangest, and at times disgusting, food-based powers is that of Tony Chu, protagonist of the Image Comics series Chew. He is a cibopath. Meaning he gains a psychic reading off of anything he eats (with the unexplained exception of beets…sorry Dwight Schrute), including human flesh. He uses this ability to help solve murders and other crimes…many times by eating a piece of the victim.

 

Condiment King

One of several characters, like notably Harley Quinn, that first appeared in the fantastic Batman: The Animated Series, that were later adapted into Batman comics. Not one of Batman’s more well known (or threatening) villains. Mitchell Mayo (yes, even his real name is condiment joke) uses various condiments like ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and relish to attempt to commit crimes while spouting off condiment puns. Always easily taken down by the Dark Knight, Condiment King is nothing more than a silly comic relief villain.

 

Too Much Coffee Man

Dressed in long johns and sporting a giant coffee mug for a hat, the character doesn’t have any actual super powers, nor does he fight crime. Unless you consider existential banter and musings a super power. Too Much Coffee Man is simply a means of social commentary and satire, but is also one of the oddest looking characters in comic books.

 

Eye-Scream

It had to have been hard to see the X-Men and all their amazing powers out there making a difference in the world, while you’re a mutant with the ability to transform your body into…any flavor of ice cream. You read that correctly. Appearing in only one issue, Eye-Scream used this useless power to attempt to sabotage the Danger Room, hoping it would malfunction and kill the X-Men. He failed miserably and thankfully was never seen in Marvel Comics again.

 

Egg Fu

When people point out the absurdity and ridiculousness of comics, it’s hard to defend them when characters like Egg Fu exist. Originally designed as a “Yellow Peril” stereotype villain (complete with cartoonish Asian features and speech patterns) to take on Wonder Woman. Over the years, DC Comics has realized the racist undertones of the character and have given it several reboots, redesigns, and new backstories. Regardless, it’s difficult to get past the utter silliness of a talking giant egg being considered a serious threat to a half-Amazon/half-god warrior like Wonder Woman.

Greatest Comic Book Villain Portrayals – Part 3

A recap of the list so far:

25. The Penguin – Robin Lord Taylor (Gotham)
24. The Joker – Cesar Romero (Batman – TV Series)
23. Deacon Frost – Stephen Dorff (Blade)
22. Saint of Killers – Graham McTavish (Preacher)
21. Doctor Octopus – Alfred Molina (Spider-Man 2)
20. Vulture – Michael Keaton (Spider-Man: Homecoming)
19. Deathstroke – Manu Bennett (Arrow)
18. Green Goblin – Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man)
17. The Governor – David Morrissey (The Walking Dead)
16. Catwoman – Julie Newmar (Batman – TV Series)

And now, onward and upward!

15. Hela – Cate Blanchett (Thor: Ragnarok)

It’s a tough task trying to be a menacing villain in a comedy-heavy film like Thor: Ragnarok, but Cate Blanchett pulls it off wonderfully. Hela is powerful and incredibly deadly, while still managing to throw in a couple dabs of humor as well without making her seem like any less of a threat. It’s a testament to her ability as an actress to strike that perfect balance. My only disappointment with Hela, and it’s nothing to do with anything Cate Blanchett did, is that Hela was not used as the stand-in for Death in The Avengers: Infinity War.

14. Captain Cold – Wentworth Miller (The Flash)

While Wentworth Miller’s take on The Flash’s nemesis, Leonard Snart, might rank at #14 on this list of best portrayals, it might be among my absolute favorites personally. As I’m not a huge fan of the character in the comics, I never expected to love it so much in a live-action setting…but man do I. Incredibly charismatic, with a line delivery that borders almost on the absurd, but regardless draws you in, Captain Cold is highlight of The Flash, and the first season of Legends of Tomorrow, as he attempts to gain some redemption for his past transgressions, but still manages to keep his twisted sense of morality.

13. The Joker – Jack Nicholson (Batman)

The first truly homicidal psychopath Joker to grace the screen. Even though Jack Nicholson did a great job bringing the Clown Prince of Crime to life, much like Alfred Molina’s Dr. Octopus, I was not a fan of linking the villain to the hero in a personal fashion unnecessarily. In the comics, the Joker is not the man that murdered Batman’s parents (that distinction goes to petty criminal Joe Chill), and changing that fact served no purpose in the film other than being able to deliver the “You made me!/You made me first.” line. But even still, his actual performance hits the high notes of the zany, ultra violent insanity we’ve come to expect from the Joker.

12. Helmut Zemo – Daniel Brühl (Captain America: Civil War)

He may not have been any sort of physical threat to Captain America, Helmut Zemo was one the most dangerous villains in the MCU. His methodical approach to exacting revenge on the Avengers for the deaths of his family in Sokovia by forcing them to turn on each other, was absolutely brilliant. I loved the subtlety in his performance. When you have a film with so many big hero personalities, trying to squeeze another big villain personality could have made the film feel over full. So choosing to tone Zemo back and have him operate mostly in the shadows was fantastically done. He’s also distinct among movie villains, in that he actually achieved his goal. While Cap and Iron Man didn’t kill each other, their bond was broken and most of the Avengers were left as fugitives. I only wish he would have donned some form of his mask from the comics at some point.

11. Magneto – Ian McKellen (X-Men)

Magneto has long been among my favorite villains in the comics. He is the perfect example of how a person’s life experiences shape their world view, and Ian McKellen…and to a lesser extent Michael Fassbender…have done an amazing job bringing that to the big screen. McKellen’s portrayal is layered, powerful, and multi-faceted. His hatred and rage, even when more subdued and subtle, are always very tangible and delivered in a way that is believable and understable. He’s also rare in that while most villains end up dead in comic book movies, he has managed to survive through multiple films.

Come back tomorrow where we’ll crack the top 10 among the best live-action performances of comic book villains. See you then.

Greatest Comic Book Villain Portrayals – Part 2

The countdown of the best live action portrayals of comic book villains rolls on. Just a recap of who has been covered so far.

25. The Penguin – Robin Lord Taylor (Gotham)

24. The Joker – Cesar Romero (Batman – TV Series)

23. Deacon Frost – Stephen Dorff (Blade)

22. Saint of Killers – Graham McTavish (Preacher)

21. Doctor Octopus – Alfred Molina (Spider-Man 2)

Now on to the next 5:

20. Vulture – Michael Keaton (Spider-Man: Homecoming)

Back-to-back Spider-Man foes. Oscar-nominated actor Michael Keaton managed to make a villain whose only real threat was flying really high into a truly menacing adversary to everyone’s favorite Wall Crawler. Seriously. That scene in the car when he’s taking his daughter and Peter to the dance is one of the most intense scenes in the entire MCU. He did a fantastic job of explaining his very realistic motivations to the point of you almost side with him a little, while also reinforcing the fact that he is most definitely a villain with willingness to kill anyone, including a 15 year-old kid, that interferes with his business.

19. Deathstroke – Manu Bennett (Arrow)

Easily the best villain in the Arrowverse so far. Deathstroke also benefited from having one of the most fleshed out backstories as well, since he was a large part of Oliver Queen’s own backstory, with it finally leading to the moment that turned Slade Wilson against him. Responsible for the removal of Oliver Queen as the CEO of Queen Industries, the murder of his mother, Moira, and leading an army into Star City, Deathstroke has by far been the most destructive foe for the Green Arrow.

18. Green Goblin – Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man)

The first big bad in the cinematic side of Spider-Man is also its best. While yes, the costume left a lot to be desired, Willem Dafoe is wonderful in his portrayal of Peter Parker’s nemesis. Norman Osborn’s ego and ambition are on full display, as is the distance in the relationship with his son, Harry, due to Norman’s high, somewhat unrealistic, expectations. But what really sells Dafoe as the Green Goblin is his insanity. As a huge fan of the character in the comics, the first time I saw the scene of him talking to himself in the mirror, I literally got goosebumps. It’s that perfect.

17. The Governor – David Morrissey (The Walking Dead)

While the television version of the character isn’t quite as despicable as its comic counterpart, it’s still quite villainous. He may not have cut off Rick’s hand nor beaten and raped Michonne like he does in the comics, but he’s still responsible whether directly or indirectly for the deaths of Hershel, Andrea, Merle, Axel, Milton, and Martinez, as well as the sexual assault of Maggie, the beating of Glenn, and the destruction of the prison that Rick’s group had made a sanctuary. Also unlike the comic book, David Morrissey’s Governor actually got a fan-satisfying death.

16. Catwoman – Julie Newmar (Batman – TV Series)

The original femme fatale of comic books played by the beautiful Julie Newmar, was sheer perfection for the campy 1960’s era Batman. She may not have been the acrobatic ass kicker we’ve come to expect from Catwoman, but her portrayal was spot-on for that time period. Conniving yet playful, dangerous yet sexy, you couldn’t have asked for a better performance. Sadly, Eartha Kitt’s attempt to replace her in the 3rd season of the series fell short.

My goal is to get the rest of the countdown knocked out this week. Watched Ant-Man and the Wasp Sunday, and want to get to the review. So, hopefully I’ll see you guys tomorrow as we drop another 5 baddies.

Greatest Comic Book Villain Portrayals – Part 1

What good is a hero without an equally menacing and compelling villain? Sure, the hero is the focus of the story, but he/she has to have something or someone to overcome. That’s what makes the hero’s journey so interesting and entertaining. Comics have long featured the best baddies that pop culture has to offer, so why would the movies and television series that are based on them be any different? So let’s countdown the best portrayals of villains in comic book properties (note: I’m only including live action portrayals…though there are some truly fantastic villain performances in cartoons…including the greatest villain portrayal ever: Mark Hamill’s Joker).

Here…we…go…

25. The Penguin – Robin Lord Taylor (Gotham)

While I’m not a fan of the show as a whole, for several reasons that I won’t get into here, I very much enjoy the portrayal of a young, power-hungry Oswald Cobblepot delivered by an underrated Robin Lord Taylor. Seeing the Penguin’s rise to power was one of the things that first interested me in the show. Sadly, it was not enough to overcome my other issues with the series.

24. The Joker – Cesar Romero (Batman – TV Series)

The original Joker. His take on the character may not be the scheming, homicidal lunatic that the Joker was originally created to be, Romero’s performance was a perfect characterization of the Clown Prince of Crime’s comic counterpart of that era. Luckily the comics eventually dropped the camp and returned Batman to his darker, grittier beginnings, and in doing so saw the Joker’s portrayals change in kind.

23. Deacon Frost – Stephen Dorff  (Blade)

It’s sad that the movie Blade is so often forgotten when it comes to discussion of comic book films, and with it, the fantastic performance of Stephen Dorff as the vampire Deacon Frost. Frost is violent, conniving, overly ambitious, and just as dangerous to other vampires that don’t share his vision of the future as he is to the humans he views as cattle. With his dark charisma, he very much plays the foil to Wesley Snipes’ dry and stoic titular half-human/half-vamp slayer, and ends up stealing the show in the process.

22. Saint of Killers – Graham McTavish (Preacher)

Preacher hasn’t been quite the frame-for-frame re-telling of Garth Ennis’ seminal series that I had hoped for, and the characterization has been a bit hit-and-miss when it comes to capturing the essence of the comic’s counterpart. But one of the major hits has been the portrayal of the Saint of Killers. Cold, mostly emotionless, and virtually indestructible, he is the ultimate killing machine and is played to perfection by Graham McTavish. His origin story is easily one of the best parts of Season 1.

21. Dr. Octopus – Alfred Molina (Spider-Man 2)

There are plenty who would probably claim I’m blasphemous for rating Doc Ock from Spider-Man 2 so low, but I’ll explain why. There wasn’t anything necessarily wrong with his performance, but I was not a fan of the decision to portray him as sympathetic and giving him a personal connection to Peter Parker…a theme that was rampant throughout the Tobey Maguire lead Spider-Man series. Literally EVERY villain was connected to him in someway. It wasn’t necessary and felt very forced. Then with the sympathy angle on top of that, it felt like a slight to the man that, until the Green Goblin murdered Gwen Stacy, could have been argued was Spider-Man’s primary antagonist.

 

That’s all for this round. I’ll try to get this pumped out quickly. With Ant-Man & the Wasp releasing this week, I want to make sure I can get around to its review before it’s been out too long.

Do We Really Need a Standalone Joker Movie?

The DCEU has decided, despite its mixed at best reception, to make a spin-off of Suicide Squad with a standalone Joker movie starring Jared Leto. This comes after a Joaquin Phoenix-lead Joker film had been announced as well. It appears DC is prepared to go forward with both. Why make two standalones of the same character at the same time, but played by different actors? In what ways, if any, will these movies be connected? How will they tie into the DCEU as a whole? But the real question is, do we even need a solo Joker movie?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the character. My love for him as a villain is almost equal to my love of his nemesis, the Caped Crusader, Batman. And we all know how much I love me some Dark Knight. But the problem is that everything that makes the Clown Prince of Crime so interesting is tied into his relationship with Batman. He is a fantastic foil and counterpart to Batman. He is an agent of chaos, while Bats is a sentinel of order and justice. Joker is a homicidal lunatic; Batman, while violent in his own right, won’t cross that line into killing (unless it’s Michael Keaton and Ben Affleck behind the cowl, then they’re just as much a murderer as Joker). And that’s a line Joker constantly taunts Batman to cross. It’s those diametrically opposing ideas and the dynamic they create that makes their relationship so compelling.

Further tying the two together is the idea that the Joker wouldn’t even exist, at least not at the level his has reached, without Batman. Would the man that became the Joker still be a psychopath? Absolutely. But the Dark Knight gives him an object on which to focus his psychosis. With Batman’s resistance and constant thwarting of his plans, Joker’s psychopathy escalates. This is not to say that Batman is responsible for the Joker’s condition, but simply to illustrate the co-dependence to his enemy in the Joker’s mind. Never was this more on display than in Frank Miller’s influential The Dark Knight Returns, where after decades of crime-fightning, Bruce Wayne hangs up his cape. Without a target to channel his madness, the Joker becomes catatonic. But when Bruce is forced out of “retirement” by a new threat, Joker’s horribly deranged mind springs to life again, causing him to murder an entire studio full of people on television just to get Batman’s attention.

Literally everything the Joker does is done as a way to hurt or punish Batman in a twisted game. Not grasping that concept (along with his utterly stupid appearance) was already a major flaw in Leto’s Joker, where he was willing to go to great lengths to rescue Harley, not something Joker would do unless it was directly part of a plot against the Caped Crusader. Which it was not. Just perpetuated the incorrect notion that he actually cares about her. He doesn’t. At all. She’s nothing but an expendable pawn to him. Throughout his history in the comics, Joker has murdered the second Robin, Jason Todd, paralyzed and sexually assaulted Barbara Gordon, and kidnapped and threatened to murder Nightwing, Robin, Alfred, Catwoman, Batgirl, Red Robin, and Jim Gordon all in attempts to hurt Batman without actually killing him.

Even if we could go back in time and get a standalone film of Heath Ledger’s incredible portrayal of the Clown Prince of Crime, I wouldn’t be that interested. Hell, even if it was an animated movie with the ultimate Joker, Mark Hamill, providing the voice, I wouldn’t want it without Batman. Essentially what it all boils down to is that the Joker is a fantastic supporting character. He is amazing as the nemesis of Batman. But as a standalone figure, what can really be done? There’s nothing about him that is interesting strictly in and of himself. He needs Batman to play off of. Without that, he’s just any other mad man.

25 Greatest Comic Character Portrayals (First Revision)

It’s been a couple of years since I made the first edition of this list. With the plethora of new comic films that have been released since then, several of which have introduced us to new characters or at least new takes on established ones, I figured it was time to dust off the old list and give her a revision. As before, I looked at a combination of performances that stayed true to the comic counterpart and just plain old great acting to create a compelling character. Some of them lean more towards one side of the equation, but I feel like all of them touch on at least a little of both. Some portrayals have risen in the ranks, some have fallen, and several fell off all together. Also like before, with several of these characters having been played by multiple people, I list the actor and what movie(s)/television show the portrayal is in.

Portrayals that fell off from the previous list:
Michael Sullivan (Tom Hanks) – Road to Perdition, Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) – The Amazing Spider-Man, Marv (Mickey Rourke) – Sin City, Professor X (Patrick Stewart) – X-Men, Superman (Christopher Reeves) – Superman, Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) – Marvel Cinematic Universe, Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman) – The Dark Knight trilogy

25. The Flash (Grant Gustin) – The Flash

 

24. Erik Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan) – Black Panther

 

23. Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) The Walking Dead

 

22. X-23 (Dafne Keen) – Logan

 

21. Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) – The Walking Dead

 

20. Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

19. Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

18. Kilgrave (David Tennant) – Jessica Jones

 

17. V (Hugo Weaving) – V for Vendetta

 

16. Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

15. The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) – Watchmen

 

14. Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

13. Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) – Watchmen

 

12. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) – X-Men

 

11. Spider-Man (Tom Holland) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

10. Loki (Tom Hiddleston) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

9. Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) – Deadpool

 

8. Thanos (Josh Brolin) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

7. Kingpin (Vincent D’Onofrio) – Daredevil (TV series)

 

6. Daredevil (Charlie Cox) – Daredevil (TV series)

 

5. Batman (Christian Bale) – The Dark Knight trilogy

 

4. Captain America (Chris Evans) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

3. Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr) – Marvel Cinematic Universe

 

2. J. Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons) – Spider-Man

 

1. The Joker (Heath Ledger) – The Dark Knight

 

So what do you think? Who’s too low? Who’s too high? Who got left off that shouldn’t have been? Let me know in the comments.

20 Greatest Comic Book Television Series

* = indicates an animated series

20. Spider-Man*

Kicking things off on the list is the Spider-Man animated series from the 90’s. Did a fantastic job weaving together both classic and modern elements of the Wall Crawler and his vast array of supporting characters. Was, along with Batman: The Animated Series, largely responsible for the resurgence of comic book properties in the mainstream and the corresponding boom in merchandise.

19. Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

After the flop that was Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, the Man of Steel laid virtually dormant as a media property outside of comics. This is the show that really brought him back to the public eye. Dean Cain played a serviceable, if not spectacular Superman, but his chemistry between he and the beautiful Teri Hatcher was the driving force of the series.

18. Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Fun and easily accessible. A good portion of the fanbase for this teen supernatural comedy have no idea that it was actually a modernized take on an Archie Comics series. While Melissa Joan Hart was great in the titular role, the real star of the show was the animatronic cat, Salem.

17. Batman

Yes, it’s campy. Yes, it strips away all of the darkness and edge from the Caped Crusader. Yes, it is just downright silly at times. And yes, it is ridiculously entertaining in its own right.

16. Legends of Tomorrow

The first of 3 of CW’s series of inter-connected DC properties known as the “Arrowverse.” A ragtag team of former villains and fallen/disgraced heroes all in search of redemption as they travel through time battling threats to humanity. Not as consistent as Arrow, but at its best, I actually think it’s better.

15. Agent Carter

Simultaneously a spin-off of both Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Captain America film franchise, Agent Carter followed the life of Cap’s old love interest Peggy Carter and her struggles to prove herself as not only a capable agent, but actually the best agent in a male-dominated world. Really bridges the gap between the MCU movies and television series.

14. Arrow

The show that launched CW’s “Arrowverse.” Much darker in tone than the other series in the shared universe, without being too dark. While Stephen Amell looks the part of Oliver Queen pretty well, and I appreciate his commitment to the parkour and training regimen for the role, his acting always seems to fall a bit flat, especially in comparison to some of his co-stars like Emily Bett Rickards (Felicity Smoak) and David Ramsey (Spartan). Known for strangely consistently using Batman villains instead of digging deep into Green Arrow’s rogues gallery.

13. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles*

Considered by many to be the definitive take on Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s iconic crime fighting reptiles. Much more lighthearted and funny, and less faithful to and focused on the samurai culture than the original comic, but responsible for creating many of the personality traits and characteristics that have become widely-accepted parts of these beloved characters, including the turtles wearing different colored masks and making April O’Neil a reporter instead of a computer programmer and lab assistant.

12. Luke Cage

While the series’ first season feels a bit uneven, with a fantastic, engaging first half followed by a slow, sometimes to the point of boring, second half, when it’s good, it’s very good. A huge part of that imbalance comes from the lack of Cottonmouth (played brilliantly by Mahershala Ali) in the back half, and the antagonist focus shifting to the poorly developed, far less interesting, Diamondback. Here’s hoping the second season can reach a little more consistency.

11. Preacher

Loosely based on Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon’s seminal comic series of the same name, about a Texas preacher who becomes imbued with supernatural powers on his journey to literally find God. The first season serves almost as a prequel, with small pieces of the early issues woven in. While there are several great performances on the show, the true stand out is Joseph Gilgun as the hard-drinking Irish vampire, Cassidy.

10. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

The first television entrant in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Started off a bit slow, but by the end of the first season, it really found its legs, thanks in large part to direct connections to the plot of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Focuses on a team of specialized agents on clandestine missions for the government lead by Phil Coulson (resurrected after the events of The Avengers), and features one of the most diverse ensembles on television.

9. X-Men*

Piggybacking off of Jim Lee’s excellent, highly successful run on the X-Men comics, the animated series was largely faithful to the source material and served as the entry point into the X-Men universe for a lot of kids in the mid- to late-90’s. And how much sadder would the Internet be without the overdubbed parody clip “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”?

8. The Tick*

Off-beat, quirky, and incredibly funny, The Tick may have only lasted for a mere 36 episodes, but it quickly developed a large cult following. Detailing the exploits of the extremely strong, but equally as dim-witted superhero, The Tick, the show did a tremendous job lampooning superhero archetypes and cliches.

7. Tales From the Crypt

HBO’s horror anthology series is famous for the amazing guest starring roles it seemed to pull in every episode and the iconic pun-spewing host, the Crypt-Keeper. Borrowing several stories directly from the 1950’s EC Comics series, and paying homage to the classic horror style in the stories that weren’t, one of the best series in the genre.

6. Jessica Jones

Heavy and gritty, the Netflix series delves deep into the scarred psyche of the super-powered titular hero (Krysten Ritter) and the effects of the PTSD she suffers after being raped and forced to kill by the mind-controlling sociopath Kilgrave (played to surprisingly icky perfection by David Tenant). Might have been even higher if not for a somewhat disappointing second season.

5. The Flash

Proof that you don’t have to be dark to make a great comic TV show. Centered around the Barry Allen version of the Scarlet Speedster, The Flash is compelling, smart, and just downright entertaining. Grant Gustin is wonderful in the lead role and is surrounded by a great cast of supporting characters, with Wentworth Miller’s take on Captain Cold being a personal favorite. The only real issue with the series has been its over-reliance on speedsters as the primary villain, finally breaking that mold in the 4th season.

4. The Punisher

Spinning off of Daredevil, Netflix’s The Punisher is as violent and brooding as you’ll find in a comic book based TV series. Jon Bernthal finally brings us the live action version of Frank Castle we’ve been waiting for. Even as violent as it is, the mayhem and blood never seem forced or over the top, but instead feel like a necessary part of the story of brutal justice for a man who had his family taken from him.

3. Batman: The Animated Series*

Definitely the top animated series in the world of comics, and in the discussion for best cartoons period. Darker and more well-written than the average animated fare. For many people, myself included, this is THE definitive portrayal of both Batman and the Joker, played to perfection by Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill, respectively. Also responsible for creating the beloved Harley Quinn and the now-canonical tragic backstory for Mr. Freeze.

2. Daredevil

Netflix’s dark, gritty take on Marvel’s Man Without Fear, is the greatest superhero show ever produced. Compelling storytelling and some of the best fight choreography you’ll ever see are highlighted by incredible performances from Charlie Cox as the titular hero and Vincent D’Onofrio as his nemesis Wilson Fisk, aka the Kingpin.

1. The Walking Dead

Easily the greatest television adaptation of a comic book, and arguably one of the greatest series in general. While the show has definitely taken a step down in quality as of late, it is still a fantastic journey into the human condition. When all of society crumbles after a zombie outbreak, you get to see who people really are. Watching the character progressions of Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and Carl Grimes (Chandler Riggs) are especially captivating.

Worst Comic Book Character Portrayals

While there have been many truly incredible portrayals of characters in comic book movies and television series, there have also been more than a few absolute clunkers. Some of these aren’t necessarily the actor’s fault; they were just written horribly, given awful dialogue, or were stuck with crappy plots. But whatever the reason, they still flopped. Here are my worst of the worst.

25. Iron Fist (Finn Jones) – Iron Fist

Netflix’s Iron Fist isn’t very good. It lacks an identity, has subpar fight choreography for a show about a Kung Fu master, and the worst thing about it is the lead. There’s literally nothing interesting about Danny Rand. He comes across as whiny and immature. For someone that’s supposed to be a “living weapon”, I wasn’t blown away by his fighting ability. In fact, I’d take Charlie Cox’s Daredevil over his Iron Fist any day.

24. Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) – X-Men First Class, X-Men: Days of Future Past, X-Men:Apocalypse

Jennifer Lawrence is a fine actress and seems quite likable as a person, but her portrayal of Mystique is so inconsistent. Her motivations and characterization seem to change from movie to movie, and are whatever the writer needed her to be in that story.

23. Ghost Rider (Nicholas Cage) – Ghost Rider, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 

Ghost Rider would be a very easy character to make silly and over-the-top, and Nicholas Cage didn’t even attempt to play it otherwise. He’s already known for being quite the over-actor, and it’s on full display here, complete with terrible puns and one-liners.

22.  Dr. Doom (Toby Kebbell) – Fantastic Four

Will we ever get a good Dr. Doom in a live action movie? Hollywood writers just can’t seem to understand the things that make the character great and compelling. Sadly, another entrance in a long line of failed attempts at bringing Victor Von Doom to life.

21. Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) – Thor, Thor: The Dark World

Natalie Portman reportedly hated being in Marvel movies, and it shows. For such a talented actress, her performance is flat and uninteresting. She also has zero charisma with Chris Hemsworth, making for a very blah love story.

20. Batman (Ben Affleck) – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad, Justice League

If there’s anyone that clearly hates playing their role in a comic movie more than Natalie Portman, it’s Ben Affleck when he dons the cape and cowl. He seems like he’d literally rather be anywhere but making these movies. With the quality of the 3 DC movies he’s been in, I can’t entirely blame him.

19. Colossus (Daniel Cudmore) – X2: X-Men United, X-Men: The Last Stand , X-Men: Days of Future Past

One of several prominent X-Men characters that are supposed to be from countries other than the US that are passed off as American in the films. Piotr Rasputin, otherwise known as Colossus, is supposed to be from Russia, yet there’s no hint of a Russian accent on him whatsoever. And for a character whose power is to turn his skin into organic steel, we actually see him transform once for all of about 15 seconds in 3 movies.

18. Electro (Jamie Foxx) – The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Another example of a good actor being stuck in a crappy role. Completely devoid of interest, and despite what was clearly meant to be a sympathetic role, you don’t even feel sorry for the guy because he’s so badly written.

17. Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) – X-Men: First Class

Kevin Bacon delivers one of the most one-dimensional performances of his career. You just don’t care about his character whatsoever, nor is the character anything close to resembling his comic book counterpart.

16. Storm (Halle Berry) – X-Men, X2: X-Men United, X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men: Days of Future Past

Here’s where the “drop the accent” game started in the X-Men franchise. Halle Berry at least attempted an inconsistent one in the first film, but then dropped it all together in the second movie on. Spoiler alert: this isn’t the only time Ms. Berry will be appearing on this list. I promise I’m not picking on her as a performer in general…just in comic movies apparently.

15. Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac) – X-Men: Apocalypse

Everything about this take on Marvel’s first mutant falls completely flat. Poorly acted. Poorly written. Poorly designed. Even his plans and motivations don’t make sense. Severely disappointing as I love Apocalypse in the comics and had high hopes for him here.

14. Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) – Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man 3

Could they have made audiences care less about the love interest of the hero? Mary Jane is supposed to be a constant, grounding force in Peter Parker’s otherwise tumultuous life, but here she’s flighty, annoying, and really serves no other purpose than damsel in distress and creating relationship drama…bouncing around between 7 different relationships in 3 movies.

13. Diamondback (Erik LaRay Harvey) – Luke Cage

I am unfamiliar with Harvey’s work outside of Luke Cage, but I seriously hope it’s better than what we got in the Marvel Netflix series. Tries way too hard to come across as a cool villain, but it doesn’t work at all. Just rather boring to be honest, especially in the shadow of Mahershala Ali’s brilliant performance as Cottonmouth.

12. Elektra (Jennifer Garner) – Daredevil, Elektra

There’s plenty to hate about the Daredevil movie, and Jennifer Garner’s bland turn as Elektra is definitely one of them. For a character that’s supposed to be exotic and enticing to Matt Murdock, she gives a performance about as compelling as watching paint dry. Oh and on the topic of being exotic, they claim she’s Greek (as she’s supposed to be), yet she makes no attempt to speak with an accent.

11. Gambit (Taylor Kitsch) – X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Much like Daredevil, there’s a lot to hate about X-Men Origins: Wolverine, a stupid story with plot holes big enough to fly the X-Jet through being first and foremost, but it also contains some of the absolute worst comic character portrayals ever (there’s another to come on this list). A primary example of writers shoehorning a character into a story that he had no business being in…and the version we got has very little in common with his comic counterpart other than his name. Gambit is known for his silver-tongued charm and razor sharp wit, yet Kitsch plays him with all the charisma of a coma patient…and seriously, why doesn’t his staff explode like everything else when he charges it with kinetic energy?

10. Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Oh, the DCEU and their consistent misunderstanding of their own properties. Whiny, neurotic, and just plain stupid…that’s really the only way I can describe this version of Superman’s nemesis. And talk about idiotic motivations: Luthor wants to show the world how dangerous Superman is, so he creates Doomsday, which is even more powerful and dangerous…um, what?

9. The Joker (Jared Leto) – Suicide Squad 

Easily the DCEU’s biggest bomb as a character is Leto’s pseudo-Joker (I refuse to refer to that as the actual Joker). Before I trash his utterly stupid look (which I’m going to), I’ll focus on the actual performance. It’s bad. Just plain bad. Not once did I believe I was watching the Clown Prince of Crime. His motivations are counter to those of the actual Joker, who would never have attempted to break Harley out prison. He would have let her rot until she found her own way out. Ok now for his appearance: what on Earth made them think that THAT is a look people wanted? This “Joker” looks like he’s a douchy rapper that’s part of a drug cartel, who just got some stupid tats in prison, and is on his way to a crappy Avenged Sevenfold concert. Oooo…how “dark and gritty”…

8. The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) – Iron Man 3

Speaking of pseudo characters. What was meant to be the MCU’s greatest plot twist ended up being nothing more than its biggest middle finger to comic book fans. Turning Iron Man’s nemesis into a fake and nothing but a distraction from the “real” villain, was a giant “F you” to longtime readers who were excited to see this major villain brought to life.

7. Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones) – X-Men: The Last Stand 

If there’s one thing 20th Century Fox knows better than making terrible Fantastic Four movies, it’s delivering awful performances in its X-Men franchise, and sadly this isn’t the worst. A cheap rubber muscle suit and a stupid-looking helmet that’s purpose is never explained in the movie, so he just runs around with a trashcan on his head for the sake of looking dumb. Also, Cain Marko is not a mutant, yet he’s somehow effected by Leech’s power draining ability?

6. Bane (Jeep Swenson) – Batman & Robin 

The first of 3 craptacular portrayals from Joel Schumacher’s equally awful Batman & Robin, making up half of the top 6. Take one of Batman’s most brilliant and strategic enemies and turn him into a mindless monster just because he’s big. Great choice. *insert eye roll*

5. Venom (Topher Grace) – Spider-Man 3

You can tell that Sam Raimi didn’t want Venom in this movie, but was forced to by Avi Arad (former head of Marvel), as he gave the character no direction or seemingly any thought. Totally unbelievable as an antagonist. Why does the symbiote make Eddie Brock bigger, but didn’t Peter Parker? Why did it latch on to Brock and mutate immediately since he didn’t have adrenal cancer like he did in the comic? The only thing worse than Venom in this movie is watching the My Chemical Romance version of Peter Parker dance.

4. Catwoman (Halle Berry) – Catwoman 

Here I am to crap on Halle Berry again. Everything about this role is bad. The acting, the writing, the direction, the costume…all of it. I appreciate the attempted homage to Eartha Kitt’s Catwoman from the 1960’s Batman television series, but the cheesiness and camp are just too much and it comes across like a B-movie performance.

3. Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) – Batman & Robin

But no one out camps Arnold’s turn as Mr. Freeze. Seriously, 75% of his dialogue is cold puns. One at the right moment would have been acceptable and might have gotten a little chuckle, but not a constant bombardment of “chill out’s” and “everybody freeze’s”. It really makes you hate a villain that should actually be one of the most sympathetic antagonists in comic movies.

2. Batman (George Clooney) – Batman & Robin 

The final entrant in my dump on Batman & Robin trilogy. Completely unbelievable as Batman. Not even a decent Bruce Wayne. All the things that make Batman special are absent and quite frankly not things that Clooney is capable of pulling off. He was cast simply because he was a hot name.

1. Deadpool (Scott Adkins) – X-Men Origins: Wolverine 

Here we are: the worst of the worst of the worst. Take everything about Deadpool that makes him unique and special and compelling…Hell take literally EVERYTHING away. Instead of kitanas, slap on some blades that pop out of his forearms like he’s freaking Baraka from Mortal Kombat. Instead of guns, have him shoot lasers out of his eyes. Instead of being a mercenary, make him a science experiment and slave. Oh and sew his mouth shut. Wouldn’t want the Merc with the Mouth to actually talk. Because I mean, come on…a source material faithful Deadpool would NEVER work…oh…wait…

Top 5 Rogues Galleries in Comics – #1

Well after more than a year away, and LOTS of life changes, I’m back to finish what I started. I’ve missed this so much. Let’s get back to it.

The finale of the Greatest Rogues Galleries countdown as voted on by you the readers…and it’s really no surprise that it was none other than the Caped Crusader, Batman. He’s almost universally regarded as having the best villains in not just comics, but in pop culture as a whole.

Batman

As if there was anywhere else to start on a list of Batman villains than his nemesis, the Clown Prince of Crime himself, the Joker. Rarely is a villain so singularly focused on wreaking havoc on a hero. He is responsible for the torture and death of second Robin, Jason Todd, and the paralysis of Barbara Gordon, just to make Batman and his ally Jim Gordon suffer. The Joker swings back-and-forth between calculated and methodical to erratic and spontaneous. This is really the only thing that makes him such a threat to Batman, because physically and mentally, the Joker is no match for the Dark Knight. But the fact that he’s completely unpredictable, makes him impossible to figure out. It has been discussed at length that in many ways Batman and Joker are really just two sides of the same coin…and whether either of them could exist without the other. Which just makes their relationship even more interesting and dynamic.

Ever since her creation as a sidekick for the Joker in the incredible Batman: The Animated Series cartoon, Harley Quinn has been an extremely popular and beloved character in the DC universe. So great was her popularity that she was quickly adapted into the comic universe as well. Originally the psychologist assigned to the Joker at Arkham Asylum, Dr. Harleen Quinzel, due to a significant amount of manipulation on his part, becomes obsessed with the Joker, leading her to help him escape and becoming his new sidekick/punching bag. While she is utterly devoted to him, he sees her simply as a pawn to control, using her to do his bidding so he can pull the strings from a position of safety, a shield to keep Batman busy, and just straight up physically and emotionally abusing her on a constant basis. In recent years, she has become somewhat of an anti-hero, as a member of the Suicide Squad, but her obsession with the Clown Prince of Crime has yet to be fully broken.

 

One of the most complex and interesting relationships in comics is that of Batman and Catwoman. He stands for order and justice…she stands for, well, nothing but herself really. With Batman being the greatest detective and crime fighter, and Catwoman being the world’s greatest thief, one would think they would be firmly entrenched as adversaries. But with Selina Kyle showing occasional flashes of goodness and with her crimes being typically on the smaller scale, focusing on burglary, she has remained on the Dark Knight’s radar, but rarely does he go out of his way to stop her. They have also worked together on multiple occasions, with her even taking a few forays into anti-hero territory, and have an undeniable, intense sexual tension that makes their relationship so compelling.

Another incredibly developed villain in the Caped Crusader’s rogues gallery. Once the DA of Gotham City, Harvey Dent worked closely with Batman and Commissioner Jim Gordon to crack down on crime in their city (never more on display than in the fabulous graphic novel The Long Halloween). As a way of striking back, one of Gotham’s major organized crime leaders, Sal Maroni, throws sulfuric acid in Dent’s face, permanently disfiguring the left half of his face and eventually driving him insane. He became obsessed with duality and develops a form of split personality disorder, though both personalities seem to exist simultaneously and are aware of the other…and both hating Batman (the Two-Face half for his constant interference in his schemes, and the Harvey Dent side for his imagined betrayal of Batman leaving him as the vulnerable member of their alliance). This has lead to yet another great relationship between Batman and his villain, because while Batman has to stop Two-Face, he wants to do so in a way that doesn’t hurt the old Harvey Dent, who he believes (some of the time) is still there and can be redeemed.

While the Oswald Cobblepot doesn’t have the intricate relationship with the Dark Knight as the previous villains have, he has remained a major, compelling member of his rogues gallery. Coming from a very wealthy family and using that inherited wealth to create a criminal empire, the Penguin is simply a real-world type gangster, gun runner, and thief, with a violent temper and an arsenal of weaponized umbrellas. The Penguin may not seem like much of an opponent for Batman. But he is a criminal mastermind and a rather large coward, continually running away while Batman takes out his crew, leaving him to live to fight another day.

Convinced of his own intellectual superiority, Edward Nigma is obsessed with proving he is smarter than Batman who is regarded as a genius and the “world’s greatest detective,” so he often tries to put Batman in deathtraps that he believes are unbeatable. Due to his overestimation of his own brilliance, this is never the case. And also due to his compulsion to leave riddles at the scene of his crimes, he many times is the cause of his own defeat. Despite this, the Riddler has proven to be one of the most intelligent, logical adversaries of the Caped Crusader even deducing Batman’s secret identity in the Hush story arc.

Formerly a brilliant psychologist and biochemist, Jonathan Crane is obsessed with the concept of fear. His obsession led him to perform dangerous fear-inducing experiments on his patients and students, leading to his termination and the murders of those responsible. This sends him down a path of a career criminal. While not a particularly physically formidable opponent for Batman, the Scarecrow’s fear toxin has been an incredible tool used to explore the tortured psyche of Bruce Wayne.

With a body pushed to near human peak levels, genius level intellect, and an iron will forged in the dark, almost unbearable conditions of a Santa Prisca prison, the man known as Bane is easily one of Batman’s more formidable opponents. He is the Caped Crusader’s equal in almost every regard, and that’s before his strength, speed, and stamina are pushed to superhuman levels by the drug known as Venom. Most recognizable as the “man that broke the Bat” when, during the Knightfall story arc, he exhausted Batman (from breaking out all of his villains from Arkham Asylum), deduced his secret identity, and then ambushed him inside Wayne Manor, leading to Bane breaking Batman’s back. While Batman eventually recovered and defeated him, Bane has remained a consistent thorn in his side ever since.

Due to the resurrective properties of the Lazarus Pits, Ra’s al Ghul has been the leader of the ancient order of the League of Assassins for centuries. A master strategist, swordsman, hand-to-hand combatant, and alchemist that has perfected his skills over hundreds of years, al Ghul is among the most dangerous villains in Batman’s rogues gallery. The League’s purpose is to infiltrate and destroy decadent centers of civilization…with Gotham as a primary target. While Ra’s al Ghul is very much an adversary to the Dark Knight, he also holds Batman in high regard for his ability, respectfully referring to him as “Detective.” Ra’s respects his ability so much that he wishes for Batman to take his place as the head of the League. Batman is also in love with Ra’s daughter Talia, who eventually becomes the mother of his son, Damian Wayne.

Easily one of the most sympathetic villains in comics, Victor Fries, a cryogenics expert, cryogenically freezes his terminally ill wife, Nora, to buy him time to find a cure. During an experiment, something goes wrong and his body’s physiology is reversed so that he must remain in freezing temperatures to stay alive. To accomplish this, he creates a refrigerated containment suit. Driven by his obsession to save his wife, he also develops a Freeze Gun that instantly freezes objects to sub-zero temperatures, and sets out on committing crimes to fund his research. This leads him into constant conflict with Batman. With his tragic origins and motivations, and cool (no pun intended) abilities, Mr. Freeze has become a popular and endearing villain of the Dark Knight.

There you have it folks. The greatest rogues galleries in comics. I promise to be around more often. No more year long breaks. I’ve got lots more to say and as long as you keep reading, I’ll keep writing. See you next time.

Reader’s Poll: Who Has the Best Rogues Gallery in Comics?

What good is a hero without great villains? No matter how incredible or interesting the protagonist in a story may be, if he/she is not met by equally incredible or interesting antagonists, the story just feels flat. Aside from Star Wars‘ Darth Vader, who is without a doubt the coolest bad guy in pop culture, there’s no better place to find villains than comic books. So which hero has the best rogues gallery? You as the reader get to determine which ones I write about. Vote below and I’ll feature the top 5 vote-getters in a future post (might be a multi-parter).